Bunco squad? Yeah they're coming!

The other day at work I called a particularly suspicious individual. I did my best to explain what I was calling about and assured the man of the legitimacy of the call. This man was not having it. Nothing I could say would satisfy him that I was calling from a legitimate company. He then ends the call with this statement: "Sounds like you are cooking a rams horn. We're gonna call the bunco(sp?) squad on you guys. Honestly, who says something like that? I did a little research, seeing as I've never heard that term before, and here is the entry I found on urbandictionary.com:

bunco squad
The bunco squad is those policemen who investigate confidence swindles. In use from the 40's through the 60's. Not usual among law enforcement today.

The original "bunco" was a dishonest gambling game. Perhaps a variant of banco, from Spanish banca, which is a card game similar to "monte".

Eventually the word evolved to mean swindling or fraud of any sort).

So there you have it. I guess it was an applicable term, albeit considerably outdated. Old people say some strange shit.

Now as for the "cooking a rams horn" portion, my quick and lazy searching produced nothing useful to explain what it meant. I guess that one is up for interpretation.

I'm gonna go cook a rams horn and try to avoid the bunco squad. Hope that shit is tasty.

The road to Hell has no deodorant

Generally the side of the building I work on tends to be freezing. Like so cold that it feels like you are warming up if it's 30 degrees outside. For a couple weeks now we finally have had heat. Which now I feel like I've entered a sauna in the middle of the Sahara. Which leads me to the other side of the building, which received our cold temperatures. One of the supervisors over there finally got fed up and complained, which seemingly pissed management off. They just made them all move to our side of the building. Enjoy your new personal sauna! 13 air conditioners and 5+ years in this building, you would think someone would have figured out a more comfortable way to regulate the temperatures.
So today again I sit here melting and I definitely forgot to put on deodorant today. Yay to being hot as shit and smelling like shit all day!

Video game ketchup and achievement hors d'oeuvres

I recently decided to slowly drudge through the mountains of unplayed games and content that I have neglected over the years. It has been a slow process so far. I tend to spend most of my gaming time playing the popular games shared with my online comrades. So the first on my agenda has been playing through the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 campaign. Let me just say, I don't understand how I put this off for so long. I am finding it quite enjoyable, almost as much as the first one. Perhaps it will get me in the mood to try out Modern Warfare 3. This task is for personal enjoyment and my incessant need for hunting achievevments. Unfortunately and fortunately I recently grabbed a few cheap XBLA games (Risk: Factions, Bejeweled 2, and Beyond Good and Evil HD). I seem to just add to the pile rather than do a lot of playing of the games I have.

It's like I'm late for my period, are we having a baby?

So yeah... I missed a few days here in the bloggityness. Sorry that I didn't call. I just slipped out from under the sheets and scampered right out the door.

Seriously though, I missed you! My non-existent following of my ramblings. I mean I have very little traffic, which by my own account probably has something to do with a lack of advertising myself more. I'm not a complete slut. I just put myself out there for a special folks to feel out. I would appreciate a following, even if it be minuscule. You know self-esteem and all. I do find blogging to be quite therapeutic regardless of who sees my entries or doesn't. Is this my triumphant return? Perhaps. Maybe I will blog like a filthy whore for a few days. Until I am worn down, tired and have an ample supply of self assurance to last me until the next time I get the shakes.

Gears of War 3 Liquid Green Skin code giveaway

Okay I am looking to gain some hopefully loyal subscribers. So I am considering having a giveaway for a Liquid Green Skins DLC code for Gears of War 3. Since I do not really have much of a reader base or any subscribers for that matter this is going to be quite the experiment. If you stumble upon my blog, subscribe, and spread the word to your friends. Also if you use Facebook, please visit http://www.Facebook.com/iongaming and give them a like. This will be an included stipulation for me having this giveaway. They are an up and coming gaming community focused on relaying positivity to gaming. I would like to help them grow. I will provide more details if I reach at least 10 subscribers. I believe once I hit 25+ then I will start the code giveaway.

Also feel free to follow me (@BrimstoneH2) on Twitter. Mind you I have a tendency to not update much. There is a daily update on what games I've played. I might try more frequently to update if I have more followers. *wink*

Battlefield 3 rocks my face off

I find everyday that I play BF3, I enjoy it more and more. It is such an amazing FPS experience. I love the variance of skill required to play well. The game does have your typical annoying players as with any FPS. For example, seems quite frequently you are winning a Team Deathmatch game and several of the other team start pulling out RPGs when your team is winning. Then you have your objective games where half of your team either snipes or doesn't tend to properly defending/attacking the targets. This of course is typical if most shooters. So I am not to surprised or concerned. If you roll with your own squad, you can usually compensate for the lack of usefulness in your teammates. I really love having to deal with bullet drop. Makes sniping feel more skillful, and out sniping a sniper because you are faster at adjusting for the drop than they are is very gratifying. As I level my vehicles, the combat structure becomes so much more robust and just plain fun. L. There is nothing like gunning for a chopper when you have a skilled pilot. It is so much fun running across the battlefield to look up an see an air fight between choppers and jets. So far I have avoided even renting MW3 because of this game. It just doesn't have the appeal it used to have with me. So everyone should avoid MW3 for at least a while and play/buy Battlefield 3.

Which I shall provide you with linkage to buy this awesome game and to the other for those interested in both or just one.

Bloody hell, cheers my good man!

So I was trained on a new project at work today (yay job security). I am kind of torn about the whole situation. Usually we make business to business calls during the day, but this project is business to consumer. We are calling people in the UK. This wouldn't be so bad, since over the years I've spent many hours gaming with Brits and have grown reasonably accustomed to understanding the accent, but the kicker is that I have to manually type in their responses to certain open ended questions. Which when my brain is working overtime to understand the thicker accents it makes it difficult to follow. I am not too sure why this project, unlike all the others, is not sent to transcription so that we don't have to risk messing up what we type. I can type 80wpm, but I become stupid in a situation like this and it feels like I'm doing like 25. I have so far noticed one thing that differs from calling Americans vs Brits is that they seems far more polite even when they don't seem too happy about things. Americans are dicks. And I get far more terrible English speaking/understanding respondents from my normal projects. Go figure right? So to all the UK residents I offer my sincerest apologies for calling you guys at 8pm and potentially interrupting your dinner. Cheers!

Why so grumpious?

So as any of you fantastic people who see these ramblings know I work for a telephone research company. Sometimes is it frustrating calling people upset with the particular company I am calling for. For instance, I had this guy who went on a tirade for about 5 minutes about how he never gets any help to his problems and that the company I call for never does anything to improve things. First of all, he made his rant during my introduction. So everything he said was lost into oblivion as we don't record or have an option for responses without actually doing the survey (which wonderfully enough the survey takes as long as it took this guy to complain). As a whole this guy didn't seem to realize that it's not the entire company out to get him, rather the more local location not being up to snuff. This is where my work comes in. We call people that go to their specific locations and gather information so that the main corporation or business can light a fire under the respective asses of the underperforming places to improve there service. So if guys like this would just do my quick survey then shit could get fixed and they wouldn't be mad all the time. I have rules I have to follow, and I know people are not always happy with my calls, but how can you expect good customer service if all you do is complain to the wring people and don't help yourselves and other by actually contributing?

CableOne's autopay system is autogay

So I was leaving for work this morning and my wife said the Internet wasn't work and said we hadn't paid the bill. This is confusing, seeing as for the last two years I have been using CableOne's autopay system. Which is required for the contract I am on anyways. So according to them the bill had not been paid for September. They never sent me a notice or email or anything in regards to this occurring. So I called them and said I owed $2. The rep said it was a late fee for not paying my last bill on time. Strange, because you are supposed to just take that payment... So she fixed the problem, but I think they charged me $10 to pay over the phone, without telling me. I didn't ask to pay by phone, I just asked for the problem to be fixed. Apparently my card expiration date needed changed, which they never sent me a single bit of prior notification that it needed changed. That being said my bank is wonky in that I can still use my old debit card regardless of the expiration. So they tried to say it was probably a problem with my bank. Well I had plenty of money to pay and if there was a payment attempt that failed my bank would have notified me of this. So now I am lost and probably going to be making many phone calls after I get off work today. Why can't shit be simple? Isn't that why places started the autopay option, to make sure bills get paid on time and that you don't have to worry about them? Ugggghhhhh!

Car woes and a crappy frapp

Today has not been spectacular. Starts off with my battery to my car being dead right before I had to leave for work. Which I had this problem yesterday as well, but that was after I went to pick up my car from the shop that fixed my broken axle. They did something to cause the battery to die and after trying to jump it this morning, I pretty sure it was a battery homicide. To make the day worse, at lunch for work I went to the gas station and got a Starbucks Mocha Frappichino. Well after chugging half the bottle, I realized it didn't have much of a coffee or mocha taste. So I looked in the bottle and noticed a slimy film near the top and little floaties in the rest of it's contents. So I check the date on the bottle and it say Aug 01 11. AUGUST FUCKING 1st!?!?!?!? That's over 2 and 1/2 months expired! Now my stomach is in knots and I am borderline pukey. I just wonder what the hell else is going to go wrong today. Ugh!

Me no likey this Game Pass

So I recently read that Battlefield 3
is yet another game added to the list that will require a Game Pass to play online. In this instance, where I will buying the game at release, it will not effect me. It still leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. It feels like the video game companies are just adding a new way to rape gamers in the mouth. Hence the bad taste. They say they need to do this to cover the costs of servers and such. I hear this and I can't help but laugh. Really? I am playing a little game called Gears of War 3. It has servers, is incredibly popular, and does not require a pass to play online. What costs are you actually worrying about? I mean, someone buys the game used, that spot that was taken is refilled not added to. If you really want to curb used game purchases the entire industry needs to drop the new game prices by at least $10. You want to compete with the Gamestops or equivalent in the world? Start your own chain of video game stores. Then it's all profit on top of profit for your company. People will buy your game new, then trade/sell back to you, and you sell it to someone else. Simple enough. Hell, you don't even need physical stores, you can work out a system where the games are sent by mail and you give credits or vouchers for games that can be used towards other games from that publisher. There are many ways this could be solved without charging used game buyers to play online. I mean with all the useless DLC we buy nowadays, we don't have the money to pay to play. If I want that experience again I will start WoW back up.

Scribblenauts teaches me things #2

So Death is pretty straight forward. His touch causes death. But what have I learned about him based on Scribblenauts?

1. Death loves to pick up small animals. Unfortunately they always die when he picks them up. He looks sad.
2. Dragons can survive one touch of death, but not two. With this a dragon can harm Death a little. Conclusion, an army of dragons could kick Death's boney white ass.
3. Death can kill a Phoenix before and after it's resurrection, permanently.
4. Ghosts are not immune to Death's touch.
5. As with Vampires, Medusa can turn Death to stone.
6. Death picks up live chickens and they become fully cooked in under 5 seconds. Fuck microwaves, I am going to buy Death.
7. Death doesn't like aliens eating his chicken.

So there you have it. Death is a little bit less if a mystery thanks to Scribblenauts. Next time I think I will take a look at zombies or werewolves.

Scribblenauts teaches me things #1

Things I have learned about Vampires from playing Scribblenauts Remix:

1. Headless Vampires can still create other Vampires. I am not sure I want to know how this works.
2. Santa can be turned, yet they ignore the Easter Bunny all together.
3. Both God and Satan can become Vampires.
4. Vampires die if they touch Death.
5. As expected Medusa turns Vampires to stone.
6. Vampires win 1 on 1 fights with Sasquatch, Chupacabra, and a Jackalope.
7. Vampires won't kill you if you climb a ladder. This was an unforeseen defense.
8. Vampires can easily kill dinosaurs. Perhaps that explains extinction.
9. Poisonous snakes can cripple and slowly kill Vampires. I know, crazy right?

So it seems all the books and movies have it wrong. This is the future of Vampires.

Next time I will school you on Death, son.

Fresh and friendly gaming community

I felt today would be a great day to promote one of my XBL friends new gaming community venture. It's basis is simple: provide a positive environment for gamers. With all the negativity in gaming these days we need some good community based positivity to balance out. Right now they community is small but growing and it will be a great place for gamers of all aspects. I believe they are going to be planning a code giveaway for XBL once they get more members. So please visit IONGaming and follow at http://www.Facebook.com/IONGaming

Also give a mention that BrimstoneH2 sent you. I like knowing that I contribute to things. LOL

My phone does that too

It really bugs me that I get nailed for using my phone during work. I don't make calls, I don't text, and hell I don't hardly ever play games. I use it to check news articles and related things or to read books. Yet they don't get onto the people reading books or newspapers, they let people do puzzles and searches they print out, and they let people draw. How is any of that different for me using my phone? In this era of technology why is it not acceptable to do equivalent things on my phone? I have tested this time and time again, I perform better when I am using my phone between my work calls (which are automated). I know it may be "policy" but really can that not be changed? I do see the other end to this. I know I am working on my employers time, but it seems silly to disallow something that pretty much keeps me sane during the monotony. Seeing as the do nothing to really promote morale. Occasional they do trivia sheets, which are utter bullshit, because if the answer they have is easily disputed they don't care, if it is not on there answer key, then it is wrong. A good example of this was the question: "What movie shares it's name with the main character?". Seriously, could you be more vague? I put down no less than 8 applicable answers, and a few that could also apply, but I was wrong because I didn't have the exact thing on their answer key. You have a computer in front of you, look that shit up.

White devil? What?

While I myself am not a follower of any particular religion, I do respect others choice of religion. This assuming they don't try to push it down my throat. I don't try to press my opinion on you, therefore you should give me the same respect. That being said, the other night while a few of my friends an I were playing some Gears 3, we ran into what can only be describes as the racial equivalent of a KKK member. This guy was equating white people with the devil. He in simple words stated that his was the master race and all others were nothing but the devil. He very clearly stated he did not believe in equality, that no one was in anyway equal. He said things like white people will be slaves after the end has come. Now my friend Too Lo, a very well spoken and educated individual, tried to have a rational conversation/debate with this religious nutcase. This guy basically discounted anything that was not in the Bible. With of course his interpretations. This guy was getting schooled on history by Too Lo and was told by the guy that he needed to learn his history. Since anything outside of the good book is wrong. I just don't understand how people get to that extreme with religion still in this day and age. The thing that gets me is really just the fact that this guy was playing Gears of War... Seems like something that kind if person would consider evil. Especially since it was created by a "White Devil".

Halo or MW3?

I kind of want both the Halo Anniversary Edition and Call of Duty: MW3. Although I really would rather get Battlefield 3 and Halo. I am just not so super excited about the CoD series these days. I need something like Battlefield, which requires much more teamwork and skill to play. So I think I will preorder Halo today through Amazon to get the $10 game credit they are offering. Which I will get it for free thanks to the $20 credit I got for buying Gears of War 3 and the $30 reward credit I have on my Amazon card. Then I can still get $20 off of Battlefield. Man I do love Amazon.

Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary
Battlefield 3 - Limited Edition
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
Xbox 360 Gears of War 3 Limited Edition Console Bundle

What are your kids doing?

So we took the kids to the park yesterday. I am wholeheartedly disgusted with the way the parents handle their children. My boy was having fun going down the slides until we had to have him stop because of a little girl who had peed her pants. I'm talking full front and back visible. She kept getting all over the equipment, for at least 15 minutes before whomever had her there even noticed. We were there at least another 30 mins and they never changed her or anything. To make things worse she was just running in and out of the street and they did not seem to care. There was also a little boy that was throwing wood chips at the kids on the merry go round (which also included one of my children). It took at least 2 mins before the father noticed. Who was sitting so far away that the kid (looked between 2-3 ish) could have ran off or did anything before he got to the boy, even at a dead sprint. He didn't even say anything to the boy about what he was doing. I am reasonably new to the whole parenting thing, I've been taking care of my four year old stepson since he was two and my now one year old baby. I don't understand how these parents can just leave there 4 and under children unattended in a large busy park AND not pay hardly any attention to them. Mind you, where I live is reasonably safe, but that does not mean we are immune to abduction or violence. I do have moments of distraction, but I stay within A few yards at most and never let the kids wander out of the play area without me. I just don't understand how neglectful these parent come off as. I don't presume to judge them beyond the park, they could be amazing parents elsewhere. I think that they need to pay better attention to their children. Just because there are plenty of children for yours to play with, it does not mean you can "set it and forget it".

Gears of Rage

I feel a little ranting about Gears would be quite fun right now.
So one of my most hated things is the sawed-off. If you use it all the time you are just bad. The weapon takes little to no skill, its sole purpose is to make people who can't aim able to rack up easy kills. That said, I can understand using in some cases. Put it in the hands of someone who is actually skilled and you have a walking nightmare. I don't like using it because the reload is atrocious. In that time I could have gibbed two more players with a gnasher.

Lately another thing I have noticed is hardcore camping bitches. You know who you are. How is it fun to hold up in one spot for entire games? I am not playing MLG or Gamebattles match. I don't want to spend 30+ mins on a game that should take about 10.

Rage quitting? Really, I get it. You are having a terrible game, but quitting isn't going to help you get better. Every time you quit while playing against better players, you are missing out on an opportunity to get better at the game. Watch what they are doing differently from your team. Perhaps they are using TEAMWORK? Foreign concept, I know, but it's amazing how much better the game goes for you when you use this crazy idea in a game that involves teams.

Incoming Leg!

Late at night me and my friends kind of tapered off from normal conversation and did many what ifs about Gears of War in general. I would like to share some last nights imagineering.

So I mentioned that I wish I could grenade tag myself in the head an just rush into the other team. This tapered off into absurdity. One of us came up with being able to rip off your leg and throw it (like a boomerang) and if it hits your opponent it would instagib them. This is where ones character would yell "Incoming Leg!". Another idea was to be able to pick up a dead opponents head and throw it at your opponent for damage or a headshot if hit in the head. We really had a mess of these notions. They were quite stupid, such as being able to chainsaw a teammates arm off and run around beating people to death with it.

We also discovered a wonderful real life applications of Cole Train's "Wooo". This should be used after just about anything you do. Taking a dump in a public restroom? Follow up completion with this handy exclamation. Playing at an organized gaming event. Do this everytime you get a headshot, but make sure you come off as a shy quiet type beforehand for best results. Work fast food? How about you give it a go after you hand someone their food. Or in the other end place your order and follow it up with the pure excitement presented by Cole. There are many applications of this in almost every aspect of life. So remember when you are having a good romp with your lady friend, give big Cole Train "Wooo" after you finish!

These were just a few of our late night idiotic musings. I would present more if I could remember. There was just too much laughter and lack of sleep for that to happen.

My friend rages supreme

So I have this friend on XBL. I played quite a bit of Gears of War 2 with him. He complained often about connection issues. Mind you he got host quite often, so when he didn't it became quite the bitchfest. He always regarded his connection to be top notch, regardless of the fact that only held true about 50% of the time. We were always nice and didn't complain too much. But when he was not host, it was on. We would have a full group and the other 4 of us would have little to no lag, that's when his rage would have no end. It took about 2 games and he would just give up. Fast forward to Gears 3. I had not played with this friend in a while, it was late, so I didn't actually play with him. I did however listen to him in the party chat. No bitching about lag... This time he has a new target: the Lancer. "These bitches need to learn how to use a shotgun!". He screams, while I support the use of the gnasher, he hasn't quite grasped the way the game works. In previous Gears games it seemed most battles ended up with shotguns or power weapons. Gears 3 so far seems to work better with long range (Lancer, Retro, or Hammerburst). While it takes some adjustment, it's a very necessary weapon set in the new game. For example: The opposing team consists of at least 3 players using a sawed-off. They like to rush at you. Logically I am going to pull a Lancer on them so they die before they can get close enough to instagib me with the sawed-off. The games is a lot more about every weapon now and it's all about the particular situation. Why would you run at the other team with a shotgun, when they have long range crossfire on you?

I am reasonably sure we all have friends that bitch more than trying to just play smarter. I have some of my own beef to make, but I will save that for later.

Holy crap, your stupid is leaking

I feel I need to try and show how obnoxiously stupid people seem to me when they are doing surveys. Like today for instance. I asked a guy a question similar to "how happy are you with the time they took" which was supposed to be answered on a number scale and I get the response of "yeah I got my stuff at the counter". WTF does that have to do with my question? I mean first it doesn't get answered in the scale like I need, but even if I needed a full verbal response, this would not be acceptable. This guy seriously did this about 10-15 more times, on straight forward questions. I actually was becoming physically I'll due to his stupidity. I think its like mild food poisoning. While I do have some poorly written questions that are easily confusing, they never seem to be the problem. All I know is that I deal with people like that for at least two hours a day. Stupid is everywhere, be warned.

Brought to you by Battlefield 3

Alrighty then I just saw that the Battlefield 3 Beta is open to all today. I got that shit queued up for when I get off work. Here's the link for those of you repin' the 360. Battlefield 3 Beta (XBL Marketplace)

Now here's a link to Battlefield 3 on Amazon. You should preorder. You get some bonussy type things!
Battlefield 3 - Limited Edition

Now I am done whorin' myself out...

On an unrelated note I have been trying to get my blog networked. Man I don't remember this being so complicated. Back in 90s I made a shitty site, added a few tags, used a website to submit to tons if search engines. Now you need like 10 steps just to do one thing. That being said, I am not complaining. The tools available now are much better, I just have quite a bit of leaning and relearning to do. So slowly I go with getting my little blog out there. I also really need to spiff up my layout more. Right now it is just too bland. But since I am a ritual procrastibater, it may be a while.

Procrastibacon and fragging meatballs

So I really told myself several times to post over the last few days. I just couldn't bring myself to. Lazy?

So I shall recap my weekend full of bacon an Gears 3.
Saturday I went to a local event, Baconfest. Now with a name like that, one would gather there would be much baconing occurring all around. That was not the case. At least everyone got a free BLT (yum btw). They had free samples of bacon ice-cream, which amazingly works well. So I bought me a scoop. Deliciousness! Other than that, there was nothing else to do with bacon. The Wiener-mobile was there. Hotdogs are not bacon. There was a stand selling BBQ, in which nothing involved bacon. There was a farmers market, again with no bacon. The biggest confusion is why they had a person in a Kool-Aid man costume and one in an Oreo costume. How the hell does that fit in the category of bacon?

Played a fair share of Gears 3 over the weekend. Still amazes me the people bitching about lag. I am about 60-80 games deep without a lick of lag. I do have a 50mb cable connection, but still, it's on servers now. So if you are lagging it's all on your Walmart dsl connection my friend.
I feel like I've been mediocre at best lately. I am by no means pro, but I can hold my own. I still suffer from being a sloppy player, and the more angry I get, the more I just go crazy and try to be Rambo. Lucky for me I have some competitive friends who actually do tournaments, so I am starting to refrain more from being a kamikaze nutcase. Team work is the most valuable thing in any shooter.

Still really need to hop on campaign, just too into multiplayer. Damn you Epic for getting your shit right this time.

Brain no worky

I was just entirely too tired yesterday to do anything. To make things worse my wife got fired for something she didn't do at work. The GM, who I thought was a friend accused her of stealing $14 and believed the two potheads who amazingly had matching stories (he also questioned them together). My wife's best friend is his girlfriend and a manager and she didn't even stick up for her. My wife made good tips and would have no reason to steal. I just cannot believe that he would believe the pregnant stoner and the skeezy stoner cook.

So fuck you to supposed friends. After all my wife did for you and your family you didn't even attempt to give her the benefit of the doubt. I hope you are ready for the backlash.

And fuck you to the stupid stoner skank. You are hurting your baby by smoking weed while pregnant. I hope that your child gets taken away and gets a good family. Because you are not fit to be a mother, let alone a friend.

Karma is a bitch. It'll come back around. I hope you are prepared. Actually I hope you are not, because it will hurt more.

And that ends my rant. Hopefully I can get back to my normal crap soonishly.

Sleepy, damn you Gears of War 3

So atrociously tired today. I also apparently decided to be immune to a 5 hour energy drink and caffeine all day so far. This is of course my fault for staying up until 3am playing Gears of War 3. It is so much more amazingly better than 2 it is like 2 never existed. My shots go where I want them to, the evade system is great, sniper is drool worthy, maps are beautiful, have yet to experience anything like lag, the list goes on and on. There is so much content to unlock. There is a crap load of multiplayer character unlocks. Horde 2.0 is nifty with the new defense structures you can build and level up. Have yet to touch campaign and beast mode and I cannot wait for either of them. This is a must buy if you are a lover of Gears 1 and/or a hater of 2.

You can still order from Amazon.com and get a $20 credit towards your next game purchase. This is why I love them. I really wish I could have gotten the console bundle. That thing is the sexy.

Gears of War 3
Gears of War 3 Epic Edition
Gears of War 3 Limited Edition Console Bundle

Research Survey Tips #2

1. If I ask for answers on a scale do not give me responses like: 8.5, 11 (10 point scale), put it in the middle, low, high, etc. This is just going to waste time because my work requires a number on the scale with no deviation. I'm going to have to refer you back which will add more time you have to deal with me.
2. So I tell you in advance that 1 means shitty and 10 mean mega awesome, don't say "Mega awesome, I rate that a 7."
This makes you sound like an idiot. I just told you that means 10.
3. Logic states that if a number is below say 5 on a 10 point scale, and you rate it a 4 and say that it was very awesome, that you are an idiot. Under 5 would be a pretty bad rating.
4. Your jokes are not funny. End of story.
5. I know that you've been alive since the civil war, your hearing is going out, and you like to tell stories... boy do you like those stories. I honestly don't need you to explain that when you were a boy your daddy used to go to so and so place and that's why you use them now. Cause the 5 minutes you spend on that, and the inevitable 5-10 more stories following, is going to make my 8 minute survey into a 30 minute one. Of course when I am done you will also state that you are not happy with the time the call took. That was YOUR FAULT YOU INCOHERENT RAMBLING DONKEY RAPIST!
6. Can you tell your receptionist that you are not worried about terrorists phone bombing you? Really do they need to spend 3 minutes asking me every question imaginable? Just connect me to the fucking person I ask for.

Well this one was a little more bitchy, but as one might imagine it is relevant. Don't worry I have plenty more to come.

Frozen tundra?

I really love getting stuck under the air vents at work. Having to wear a coat indoors because it's literally 40 degrees where I am at is ridiculous. I might as well work in a meat locker.

The weather inside is frightful.
And my calls are not so delightful.
And theres no better place to go.
Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow.

Gimme my game beoches!

Yesterday was a *sad face* day. I was hoping Amazon would deliver my Gears of War 3 a day early as they did with Halo Reach when I preordered. So I have to wait until I get off work today. This make Hulk angry. To make things possibly worse is my wife is working a little later today so my package will just be sitting there laying around on my porch. Better be there when I get home or there will be hell to pay! The wrath of Brimstone is not swift, it is slow and painful, much like humping a tree.

Research survey tips #1

I have some handy tips to make my life and yours easier if I call for a survey.

1. If you don't want to do it, don't waste time telling me why . Just say you don't and we will both be done.
2. If I say that the call is going to take 10 minutes don't say you can do it when you know you have 2 minutes. This just hurts me at work and wastes your time.
3. We are not regulated by the Do Not Call list that the FTC uses for telemarketing home calls. We don't sell anything, we are just gathering research to help improve the service you receive from whichever client we are calling for. So don't get mad if you think you should not have been called because of the list. Besides, you are at work, the DNC would have your home number.
4. Don't complain to me that the call is taking forever when you feel it necessary to elaborately answer a 10 point scale question. I tell you it takes 10 minutes to be safe, when normally it should only take 5, and you rattle on for 15 on questions you don't need to. We have open ended questions for that if necessary.
5. I understand that my questions are redundant at times. I really wish I could control that for both our sakes. Unfortunately I have to read what I am given. These things are written on a corporate level, and so far as I've observed is that they tend to remain oblivious to the fact that you the consumer do not want to answer why the product or service you used was this or that 5 times in the same questionnaire. They just want data. Which is frustrating to you and me, because when you are pissed, my job gets more difficult. Welcome to the cycle of pain. So just bear with me and don't blame me personally for this.
6. If I ask for you by name, then I need to speak with you. These are rules I have to follow. So if you are the wrong person don't try to send me to someone else unless I ask. Most times I am only allowed to speak to the person I have listed. If you didn't do anything, then we can make things short and sweet in most cases and say our goodbyes.

These are just a few if the many tips I can throw out there. I'll do this in random installments because it's morning and there is only so much my brain can spew this early.

Long easy weekend

My weekend has seemed to last forever. Oddly enough in a good way. It's usually the other way around. I don't think I accomplished much of importance this weekend, but I did get a fair amount if gaming squeezed in. A little Black Ops, some Gears of War 2, and a bit of Duke Nukem Forever. By the way Duke is not all that terrible like people have made it out to be. Graphically it feels like an average 360 game, the controls are acceptable, and it has a bit of decent humor (if you can just let yourself like it's crude way of things). I might even get a little more in tonight seeing as I basically slept until 1pm this afternoon (thank you baby boy for taking a nap on me).

Forgetfulness is the best excuse

Three hours alone with the kids whilst the wife is off working. A little house work and then if I'm lucky I can hop on the 360 for a bit. The 4yo is supposed to be cleaning his room, but of course after 10 mins of quiet in his room he comes to ask me a question. So I ask him if he cleaned his room and he says he forgot. I wish I could get away with that.

Guurz auf Weeeeer Toooooo!

40k kills on Gears of War 2 now. Took me 40 minutes to grind 5k. Now I want to die cause it felt like hours of pain and suffering. At that rate it will take me a mere 8 hours to complete 100k kills. I don't know if I want it that bad. Maybe I'll do like 10 mins a day for 48 days and finish it that way... Ugh. I hate overwhelming needs to get certain achievements.

Numba one stunna

My amazing lil boy just turned 1. His first party was a success. Now unfortunately for mommy and daddy it was so successful I don't know what we are going to do with the metric fuckton (if this isn't a real unit of measurement it should be) of toys he received.
Luckily he got the big room in the house. So at least there will be room for the toys, but not him. :P

On the job

So I do telephone surveys for my work. Don't worry, I am not the one who calls you at home and interrupts your meal, your hardcore sex romp with neighbors daughter, or your enthralling WoW raid. I call businesses. So I guess I could be interrupting someone banging their secretary...
It amazes me how many American based business hire people who have little to no concept of the English language. People who do important things for their company, like placing large monetary orders. I don't understand how someone who can't understand a single word I say, makes more money, and has the reigns to spending their companies money. Almost worse than that is I call companies whose secretaries are also lacking the ability to understand or speak English. How does one come to think that having someone who's only English is "you speak the Spanish?" take messages and handle important calls. Now that being said, I actually get equal quantities of Asian language speaking as well as Spanish, and some occasionally undeterminable language. I much I can and will rant about my job, but I'll try to spread it out as to not OD anyone on my spaz attacks. So back to working hard I go. Viva la ass sitting!

I should be in bed, but that would make sense

So I'm sitting here playing Black Ops and wondering why I'm not playing one of the three games my bro-in-law gave me. He just gave me Duke Nukem Forever, Red Faction: Armageddon, and LA Noir out of the blue. So I guess I should get cracking on those... Except I have a few achievements I'd like to kill off in Gears of War 2 before 3 comes out. For the record Epic if I wanted to grind for kills I'd go back to playing WoW. Yet here I am playing CoD. Off to a few more games then bed.

I need a beer... +11

I suppose this would be a good time to make an introduction. I'll pass on that methinks. Instead I will start by saying that work is almost over for the day and I could use a few drinks. That isn't going to happen so I thought I would try out this blogging thing all the kids talk bout. My job requires me to sit on my ass all day and call people, who for the most part, are either assholes, idiots, or some mindfuckingly horrible mix of the two. I unfortunately have to be reasonably vague when speaking about the inner workings of my job, seeing as they tend to fire employees who say the wrong things online. As this is my first post I will keep it short and sweet until the next time I feel like bitching and moaning about some nutsucking blowtard. That being said, I plan to not spew work related hatred all the time. Since I do tend to be reasonably happy in off work situations I will probably share my opinions on various other things as well. So until next time I am back to waiting patiently for Gears of War 3 to be released.