Research survey tips #1

I have some handy tips to make my life and yours easier if I call for a survey.

1. If you don't want to do it, don't waste time telling me why . Just say you don't and we will both be done.
2. If I say that the call is going to take 10 minutes don't say you can do it when you know you have 2 minutes. This just hurts me at work and wastes your time.
3. We are not regulated by the Do Not Call list that the FTC uses for telemarketing home calls. We don't sell anything, we are just gathering research to help improve the service you receive from whichever client we are calling for. So don't get mad if you think you should not have been called because of the list. Besides, you are at work, the DNC would have your home number.
4. Don't complain to me that the call is taking forever when you feel it necessary to elaborately answer a 10 point scale question. I tell you it takes 10 minutes to be safe, when normally it should only take 5, and you rattle on for 15 on questions you don't need to. We have open ended questions for that if necessary.
5. I understand that my questions are redundant at times. I really wish I could control that for both our sakes. Unfortunately I have to read what I am given. These things are written on a corporate level, and so far as I've observed is that they tend to remain oblivious to the fact that you the consumer do not want to answer why the product or service you used was this or that 5 times in the same questionnaire. They just want data. Which is frustrating to you and me, because when you are pissed, my job gets more difficult. Welcome to the cycle of pain. So just bear with me and don't blame me personally for this.
6. If I ask for you by name, then I need to speak with you. These are rules I have to follow. So if you are the wrong person don't try to send me to someone else unless I ask. Most times I am only allowed to speak to the person I have listed. If you didn't do anything, then we can make things short and sweet in most cases and say our goodbyes.

These are just a few if the many tips I can throw out there. I'll do this in random installments because it's morning and there is only so much my brain can spew this early.