Holy crap, your stupid is leaking

I feel I need to try and show how obnoxiously stupid people seem to me when they are doing surveys. Like today for instance. I asked a guy a question similar to "how happy are you with the time they took" which was supposed to be answered on a number scale and I get the response of "yeah I got my stuff at the counter". WTF does that have to do with my question? I mean first it doesn't get answered in the scale like I need, but even if I needed a full verbal response, this would not be acceptable. This guy seriously did this about 10-15 more times, on straight forward questions. I actually was becoming physically I'll due to his stupidity. I think its like mild food poisoning. While I do have some poorly written questions that are easily confusing, they never seem to be the problem. All I know is that I deal with people like that for at least two hours a day. Stupid is everywhere, be warned.

Brought to you by Battlefield 3

Alrighty then I just saw that the Battlefield 3 Beta is open to all today. I got that shit queued up for when I get off work. Here's the link for those of you repin' the 360. Battlefield 3 Beta (XBL Marketplace)

Now here's a link to Battlefield 3 on Amazon. You should preorder. You get some bonussy type things!
Battlefield 3 - Limited Edition

Now I am done whorin' myself out...

On an unrelated note I have been trying to get my blog networked. Man I don't remember this being so complicated. Back in 90s I made a shitty site, added a few tags, used a website to submit to tons if search engines. Now you need like 10 steps just to do one thing. That being said, I am not complaining. The tools available now are much better, I just have quite a bit of leaning and relearning to do. So slowly I go with getting my little blog out there. I also really need to spiff up my layout more. Right now it is just too bland. But since I am a ritual procrastibater, it may be a while.

Procrastibacon and fragging meatballs

So I really told myself several times to post over the last few days. I just couldn't bring myself to. Lazy?

So I shall recap my weekend full of bacon an Gears 3.
Saturday I went to a local event, Baconfest. Now with a name like that, one would gather there would be much baconing occurring all around. That was not the case. At least everyone got a free BLT (yum btw). They had free samples of bacon ice-cream, which amazingly works well. So I bought me a scoop. Deliciousness! Other than that, there was nothing else to do with bacon. The Wiener-mobile was there. Hotdogs are not bacon. There was a stand selling BBQ, in which nothing involved bacon. There was a farmers market, again with no bacon. The biggest confusion is why they had a person in a Kool-Aid man costume and one in an Oreo costume. How the hell does that fit in the category of bacon?

Played a fair share of Gears 3 over the weekend. Still amazes me the people bitching about lag. I am about 60-80 games deep without a lick of lag. I do have a 50mb cable connection, but still, it's on servers now. So if you are lagging it's all on your Walmart dsl connection my friend.
I feel like I've been mediocre at best lately. I am by no means pro, but I can hold my own. I still suffer from being a sloppy player, and the more angry I get, the more I just go crazy and try to be Rambo. Lucky for me I have some competitive friends who actually do tournaments, so I am starting to refrain more from being a kamikaze nutcase. Team work is the most valuable thing in any shooter.

Still really need to hop on campaign, just too into multiplayer. Damn you Epic for getting your shit right this time.

Brain no worky

I was just entirely too tired yesterday to do anything. To make things worse my wife got fired for something she didn't do at work. The GM, who I thought was a friend accused her of stealing $14 and believed the two potheads who amazingly had matching stories (he also questioned them together). My wife's best friend is his girlfriend and a manager and she didn't even stick up for her. My wife made good tips and would have no reason to steal. I just cannot believe that he would believe the pregnant stoner and the skeezy stoner cook.

So fuck you to supposed friends. After all my wife did for you and your family you didn't even attempt to give her the benefit of the doubt. I hope you are ready for the backlash.

And fuck you to the stupid stoner skank. You are hurting your baby by smoking weed while pregnant. I hope that your child gets taken away and gets a good family. Because you are not fit to be a mother, let alone a friend.

Karma is a bitch. It'll come back around. I hope you are prepared. Actually I hope you are not, because it will hurt more.

And that ends my rant. Hopefully I can get back to my normal crap soonishly.

Sleepy, damn you Gears of War 3

So atrociously tired today. I also apparently decided to be immune to a 5 hour energy drink and caffeine all day so far. This is of course my fault for staying up until 3am playing Gears of War 3. It is so much more amazingly better than 2 it is like 2 never existed. My shots go where I want them to, the evade system is great, sniper is drool worthy, maps are beautiful, have yet to experience anything like lag, the list goes on and on. There is so much content to unlock. There is a crap load of multiplayer character unlocks. Horde 2.0 is nifty with the new defense structures you can build and level up. Have yet to touch campaign and beast mode and I cannot wait for either of them. This is a must buy if you are a lover of Gears 1 and/or a hater of 2.

You can still order from Amazon.com and get a $20 credit towards your next game purchase. This is why I love them. I really wish I could have gotten the console bundle. That thing is the sexy.

Gears of War 3
Gears of War 3 Epic Edition
Gears of War 3 Limited Edition Console Bundle

Research Survey Tips #2

1. If I ask for answers on a scale do not give me responses like: 8.5, 11 (10 point scale), put it in the middle, low, high, etc. This is just going to waste time because my work requires a number on the scale with no deviation. I'm going to have to refer you back which will add more time you have to deal with me.
2. So I tell you in advance that 1 means shitty and 10 mean mega awesome, don't say "Mega awesome, I rate that a 7."
This makes you sound like an idiot. I just told you that means 10.
3. Logic states that if a number is below say 5 on a 10 point scale, and you rate it a 4 and say that it was very awesome, that you are an idiot. Under 5 would be a pretty bad rating.
4. Your jokes are not funny. End of story.
5. I know that you've been alive since the civil war, your hearing is going out, and you like to tell stories... boy do you like those stories. I honestly don't need you to explain that when you were a boy your daddy used to go to so and so place and that's why you use them now. Cause the 5 minutes you spend on that, and the inevitable 5-10 more stories following, is going to make my 8 minute survey into a 30 minute one. Of course when I am done you will also state that you are not happy with the time the call took. That was YOUR FAULT YOU INCOHERENT RAMBLING DONKEY RAPIST!
6. Can you tell your receptionist that you are not worried about terrorists phone bombing you? Really do they need to spend 3 minutes asking me every question imaginable? Just connect me to the fucking person I ask for.

Well this one was a little more bitchy, but as one might imagine it is relevant. Don't worry I have plenty more to come.

Frozen tundra?

I really love getting stuck under the air vents at work. Having to wear a coat indoors because it's literally 40 degrees where I am at is ridiculous. I might as well work in a meat locker.

The weather inside is frightful.
And my calls are not so delightful.
And theres no better place to go.
Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow.

Gimme my game beoches!

Yesterday was a *sad face* day. I was hoping Amazon would deliver my Gears of War 3 a day early as they did with Halo Reach when I preordered. So I have to wait until I get off work today. This make Hulk angry. To make things possibly worse is my wife is working a little later today so my package will just be sitting there laying around on my porch. Better be there when I get home or there will be hell to pay! The wrath of Brimstone is not swift, it is slow and painful, much like humping a tree.

Research survey tips #1

I have some handy tips to make my life and yours easier if I call for a survey.

1. If you don't want to do it, don't waste time telling me why . Just say you don't and we will both be done.
2. If I say that the call is going to take 10 minutes don't say you can do it when you know you have 2 minutes. This just hurts me at work and wastes your time.
3. We are not regulated by the Do Not Call list that the FTC uses for telemarketing home calls. We don't sell anything, we are just gathering research to help improve the service you receive from whichever client we are calling for. So don't get mad if you think you should not have been called because of the list. Besides, you are at work, the DNC would have your home number.
4. Don't complain to me that the call is taking forever when you feel it necessary to elaborately answer a 10 point scale question. I tell you it takes 10 minutes to be safe, when normally it should only take 5, and you rattle on for 15 on questions you don't need to. We have open ended questions for that if necessary.
5. I understand that my questions are redundant at times. I really wish I could control that for both our sakes. Unfortunately I have to read what I am given. These things are written on a corporate level, and so far as I've observed is that they tend to remain oblivious to the fact that you the consumer do not want to answer why the product or service you used was this or that 5 times in the same questionnaire. They just want data. Which is frustrating to you and me, because when you are pissed, my job gets more difficult. Welcome to the cycle of pain. So just bear with me and don't blame me personally for this.
6. If I ask for you by name, then I need to speak with you. These are rules I have to follow. So if you are the wrong person don't try to send me to someone else unless I ask. Most times I am only allowed to speak to the person I have listed. If you didn't do anything, then we can make things short and sweet in most cases and say our goodbyes.

These are just a few if the many tips I can throw out there. I'll do this in random installments because it's morning and there is only so much my brain can spew this early.

Long easy weekend

My weekend has seemed to last forever. Oddly enough in a good way. It's usually the other way around. I don't think I accomplished much of importance this weekend, but I did get a fair amount if gaming squeezed in. A little Black Ops, some Gears of War 2, and a bit of Duke Nukem Forever. By the way Duke is not all that terrible like people have made it out to be. Graphically it feels like an average 360 game, the controls are acceptable, and it has a bit of decent humor (if you can just let yourself like it's crude way of things). I might even get a little more in tonight seeing as I basically slept until 1pm this afternoon (thank you baby boy for taking a nap on me).

Forgetfulness is the best excuse

Three hours alone with the kids whilst the wife is off working. A little house work and then if I'm lucky I can hop on the 360 for a bit. The 4yo is supposed to be cleaning his room, but of course after 10 mins of quiet in his room he comes to ask me a question. So I ask him if he cleaned his room and he says he forgot. I wish I could get away with that.

Guurz auf Weeeeer Toooooo!

40k kills on Gears of War 2 now. Took me 40 minutes to grind 5k. Now I want to die cause it felt like hours of pain and suffering. At that rate it will take me a mere 8 hours to complete 100k kills. I don't know if I want it that bad. Maybe I'll do like 10 mins a day for 48 days and finish it that way... Ugh. I hate overwhelming needs to get certain achievements.

Numba one stunna

My amazing lil boy just turned 1. His first party was a success. Now unfortunately for mommy and daddy it was so successful I don't know what we are going to do with the metric fuckton (if this isn't a real unit of measurement it should be) of toys he received.
Luckily he got the big room in the house. So at least there will be room for the toys, but not him. :P

On the job

So I do telephone surveys for my work. Don't worry, I am not the one who calls you at home and interrupts your meal, your hardcore sex romp with neighbors daughter, or your enthralling WoW raid. I call businesses. So I guess I could be interrupting someone banging their secretary...
It amazes me how many American based business hire people who have little to no concept of the English language. People who do important things for their company, like placing large monetary orders. I don't understand how someone who can't understand a single word I say, makes more money, and has the reigns to spending their companies money. Almost worse than that is I call companies whose secretaries are also lacking the ability to understand or speak English. How does one come to think that having someone who's only English is "you speak the Spanish?" take messages and handle important calls. Now that being said, I actually get equal quantities of Asian language speaking as well as Spanish, and some occasionally undeterminable language. I much I can and will rant about my job, but I'll try to spread it out as to not OD anyone on my spaz attacks. So back to working hard I go. Viva la ass sitting!

I should be in bed, but that would make sense

So I'm sitting here playing Black Ops and wondering why I'm not playing one of the three games my bro-in-law gave me. He just gave me Duke Nukem Forever, Red Faction: Armageddon, and LA Noir out of the blue. So I guess I should get cracking on those... Except I have a few achievements I'd like to kill off in Gears of War 2 before 3 comes out. For the record Epic if I wanted to grind for kills I'd go back to playing WoW. Yet here I am playing CoD. Off to a few more games then bed.

I need a beer... +11

I suppose this would be a good time to make an introduction. I'll pass on that methinks. Instead I will start by saying that work is almost over for the day and I could use a few drinks. That isn't going to happen so I thought I would try out this blogging thing all the kids talk bout. My job requires me to sit on my ass all day and call people, who for the most part, are either assholes, idiots, or some mindfuckingly horrible mix of the two. I unfortunately have to be reasonably vague when speaking about the inner workings of my job, seeing as they tend to fire employees who say the wrong things online. As this is my first post I will keep it short and sweet until the next time I feel like bitching and moaning about some nutsucking blowtard. That being said, I plan to not spew work related hatred all the time. Since I do tend to be reasonably happy in off work situations I will probably share my opinions on various other things as well. So until next time I am back to waiting patiently for Gears of War 3 to be released.