1. If I ask for answers on a scale do not give me responses like: 8.5, 11 (10 point scale), put it in the middle, low, high, etc. This is just going to waste time because my work requires a number on the scale with no deviation. I'm going to have to refer you back which will add more time you have to deal with me.
2. So I tell you in advance that 1 means shitty and 10 mean mega awesome, don't say "Mega awesome, I rate that a 7."
This makes you sound like an idiot. I just told you that means 10.
3. Logic states that if a number is below say 5 on a 10 point scale, and you rate it a 4 and say that it was very awesome, that you are an idiot. Under 5 would be a pretty bad rating.
4. Your jokes are not funny. End of story.
5. I know that you've been alive since the civil war, your hearing is going out, and you like to tell stories... boy do you like those stories. I honestly don't need you to explain that when you were a boy your daddy used to go to so and so place and that's why you use them now. Cause the 5 minutes you spend on that, and the inevitable 5-10 more stories following, is going to make my 8 minute survey into a 30 minute one. Of course when I am done you will also state that you are not happy with the time the call took. That was YOUR FAULT YOU INCOHERENT RAMBLING DONKEY RAPIST!
6. Can you tell your receptionist that you are not worried about terrorists phone bombing you? Really do they need to spend 3 minutes asking me every question imaginable? Just connect me to the fucking person I ask for.
Well this one was a little more bitchy, but as one might imagine it is relevant. Don't worry I have plenty more to come.
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